Mom’s Balance

Balance. A buzzword right now on social media platforms, specifically geared towards mothers. Mothers are encouraged to find a balance of self-care, tending to the needs of children, and possibly even a career outside of the home. As mothers, we are told, “treasure every moment, it goes by so fast” and we see the evidence as we tuck our children’s outgrown clothes into storage. On the other hand, we live a laundry-and-diaper-Groundhog Day over and over again as others comfort us, “don’t worry, this won’t be forever”. It’s very easy to feel like life is rushing by while simultaneously stuck in place. This is the tug-of-war that many mothers live in from day to day. And many of us are tired. Exhausted. Overwhelmed. With no balance in sight. There’s no quick-and-easy solution or quiz you can take to determine whether you should introduce goat yoga or a lower (or higher) caffeine intake to improve self-care and energy, but here are some questions you can reflect on during your next midnight feeding/scrolling session to open a conversation about balance in motherhood.

1. Body/Mind Check-in

Ask yourself how your body is feeling? Like actually feeling. Where is there tension? Have you been sick more often lately? Have you had blood work done lately to see about any vitamin deficiencies or imbalances? Does your mind race throughout the day/night? Do you feel overwhelmed or constantly irritable? Are you frequently tearful or anxious?

When we are imbalanced or overwhelmed, our body and mind are impacted. This can look like physical or mental ailments. For example, we don’t always think about diarrhea or constipation or other digestive issues as a way that our physical body might be reacting to stress or anxiety, but it is a possible cause. In the rush of the day-to-day, we may be overlooking warning signs that our body is telling us to slow down, so it is important to check-in and assess our current status and functioning. Take this moment to slow down and listen.

2. Partner/Support Person

What does your partner see in terms of your mental and physical health? If not partner, your parent or close friend? Are we sharing openly with them? What do they see as our current responsibilities and our balance of all of them?

Ideally, a partner, close family member, or friend should be able to hold up a mirror for us to see ourselves. If we are withholding from them, it may be important to examine our reasoning for doing so. Are they not trustworthy? Or are we holding back because we’re afraid to burden them with our own thoughts?

3. Real Mom Friends

Do we have community with others who are in the same phase of life as we are?

While it is important to have a connection with people of all ages, the value of mother friendships is invaluable during the perinatal/child rearing years. To have someone who can say, “been there done that” or “currently doing that” is incredibly validating and crucial for parenting empowerment and confidence overall. Whether it’s a library reading circle, mom vent sessions with other coworker moms, or a mommy and me fitness class, we need parenting pals.