Mom Guilt

Is this My Fault?

As a mom, our guilt can appear as soon as our pee turns the stick to a +. “Shoot, I had a margarita last weekend. Did I workout too hard yesterday? I drank coffee this morning!!” It’s a mom brain reflex. And before we can blink, we are googling the impact of one margarita in early pregnancy. This continues on as our little one enters the world and life happens: our milk doesn’t come in, allergies are discovered, flat heads result in helmets, walking doesn’t happen right at the first birthday, separation anxiety is observed, speech or occupational therapies are recommended. The list goes on. Any of these is enough to cause a mama’s head to spin and question if it was a result of anything she had done in the past. There is no magic potion or mantra that will completely erase this tendency in us as mothers. I write this just to encourage your own self-awareness in these moments. Observe the thought of self-blame. Don’t shame yourself for it, but instead label it. “Huh, I’m wondering if I’m to blame for this. It’s a normal thought for a mom to have, but I also know it will not help me approach this situation with my best self. My baby deserves my best self. And I do too.. If it’s not your typical thought pattern, it will seem foreign and unbelievable. But practice. If it decreases even one or two shaming or guilt-ridden thoughts, all the better. We are imperfect. So are our children. So is life. We will all encounter difficulties and trials in life regardless of past decisions. The best we can do is model for our children how to practice acceptance and resiliency as we take the next step forward.

by:Olivia Espinosa

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